Baptism

As you may know, this morning I was baptized. It was awesome.

First, to back up a bit, this is my amazing church: Pathways Church. It's just a couple of blocks from me, and I love, love, love it. I wish I could be there every day of the week. So anyway, that's where another woman, me, and a father and son got baptized today. (More to come this evening! I'm excited to go back and get to witness them from a more spectator viewpoint, instead of the about-to-be-baptized and dripping-wet-outside-the-door viewpoints.)

Secondly, earlier this week Gil (the pastor) asked me to write up a brief bit about what brought me to this place. I didn't have anyone take pictures this morning (sorry to those who requested them-- I had enough going on this morning!) but thought I'd post that here. (And no, I did not have to read it myself... Gil read them.)

"I was raised in the church. I grew up knowing all the “right answers” about God. Yet it always seemed like everyone around me was so much more secure in their faith than I was. Others seemed to sail through incredible struggles with unwavering belief, whereas I always needed to know “why.”

"I’ve never doubted that there was a God, because I see the overwhelming beauty of creation around me. But there have been many times when I feared that God was not the loving, personal savior that I longed for. In recent years, broken relationships and unfulfilled dreams made it easy for me to write God off. I was so caught up in my own plans for myself, it was hard to accept that God might have something different in mind. So I moved 1,000 miles to a city where I knew virtually no one, hoping for a new chance to create the future I’d hoped for. What I found instead was the greatest uncertainty, loneliness and doubt that I’ve ever experienced. It seemed like God had failed me.

"Fortunately, God didn’t write me off. Patiently and persistently, he kept dropping small reminders of his presence and his love, just waiting for me to recognize them. My life may not be exactly how I planned it, but I am starting to see that the best things in my life have come about when I got exhausted from trying to control everything, gave up, and made room for God to work. I am starting to realize that he has a vision and a plan for me that is much bigger than anything I could come up with.

"I still don’t have anywhere close to all the answers, but I’m starting to look for them in the right places. It’s still not easy in the hard times, to trust that God knows what’s best for me and loves me even when I don’t feel like loving myself. But I’m trying to keep in sight the amazing grace of having Jesus as my eternal savior and guide as I continue to fumble through life. I chose to be baptized today as a symbol to myself, to God, and to my faith family that I am seeking to follow God’s direction now, even if I don't know where it might lead me."

Part II:

I went back for the evening service, because I wanted to see the other baptisms, wanted to actually be able to worship and listen to the message without being nervous about my own upcoming baptism, etc. (I suppose I should note that the services are the same, or this explanation would seem rather random.) It. Was. Amazing. If you're around in Denver, or ever visiting, when a baptism service at Pathways rolls around, I'll be persuading you to come along. God is in that place. (All the time, I mean. Not just on baptism days.) Being at Pathways is sort of like going to an extended family reunion-- there's all these people who you don't really know, but they all love you anyway.