Lessons on non-verbal communication... from a cat

Yesterday I came home from work, and after greeting me at the door, Potok went and stood in front of his dishes. And I realized that-- without making a noise, let alone speaking in anything remotely resembling English-- I nevertheless knew exactly what he was telling me: in this case, "mom, even though there is food in my dish, I don't like to eat out of the bottom of the dish, so I would like some more, please." (We'd even discussed that morning, that this would happen when I got home from work. I'd asked him to remind me.) As I crouched in front of the hall closet to refill his food container from the big bags, he followed and rubbed back and forth against my legs, clearly communicating "yes, yes, this is exactly what I wanted" and standing before his dishes and kissing my hand as I poured the food in told me "I am excited about this! I love this food! Thank you, thank you!"

If only we could all communicate so clearly, and yet so simply... without a doubt I was able understand what the cat needed, what he wanted, and how he felt about the scenario. How did we get so far from that, being able to simply communicate our needs-- without resentment or hedging or manipulation or changes in the balance of power? Babies do it. They cry: this tells us they are hungry, or wet, or sleepy, or want to be held and talked to. They even have different cries to tell us these things. Watching us tells us that they like us, and are interested in what we are doing. Their laughs are deep and genuine, their cries just as heartbroken and open.

So, I will try to take a lesson from cats and babies. More communicating, less "communication."